Gah!
I'm a nervous wreck right now - and it doesnt seem like any part of my life is trying to make it any easier on me, in fact, quite the opposite.
I'm going to come out to my mom on Sunday. I have it all planned out. We're going to go to brueggers like we do every morning, though this time, my sister is going to conveniently oversleep while she's dog-sitting, so it will just be the 2 of us. Then, after I tell her, I can pretend like I have to go to work, because I'm going to need a break after that, and I want to give her time to let it sink in before anything else happens. Robb is coming up for it. He's not going to be at brueggers with us, but I told him I wanted him in Rochester. I don't think I'd be able to do this if he wasn't here for me. So, naturally im a nervous wreck about that. But, also for some reason, I'm nervous about school next year/next week. I think it's finally starting to dawn on me that this is my senior year -round 2. With high school senior year, there was still school to be done, but now-not so much and THAT'S what's scaring the hell out of me. That I'm going to have to get a real job and pay bills and move out on my own. Then, at Geva, the assistant manager was thinking he was going to be leaving. I made it pretty clear to him that I would like to be considered for his position if/when he left. Then, he pretty much gave the job to someone else who has worked here less than half as long as I have. not only did I get beat out for a promotion that I really wanted, but, along with him getting the position over me - the parameters of the assistant manager position are changing and my supervisor position is getting eliminated. So, not only did I not get a promotion that I am more than qualified for - but I got demoted because of the person that beat me out for the promotion. I hate this. I hate the office politics that I have to play in order to get ahead. I was so happy when I got trained as a supervisor - it was the first time that I had ever been promoted by a company before - and even that took some politics since they trained me for it, then when a shift opened up - they hired someone new to fill it and then had me train her. Then after she got fired because she was a completely horrendus worker, they gave the shift to me only to take it away 5 months later. Such a blow to my ego. It's just taking a toll on me. I'm getting really moody with just about everyone that's semi-close to me. It hasn't infected my relationships with the people that I'm close with yet, or people I don't know. Geeze, I feel like a failure because of this - I've busted my ass for this place, and gotten them out of so many jams before and I've done it with a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face. I've skipped auditions because the person who was supposed to cover for me flaked out, I've gotten numerous calls on my cell phone from people who don't know how to do something in Theatre Manager (our software) and call me when I'm not working. I've worked almost 60 hours in a week for them, and then let them mess with my timecard and put the extra hours on the next weeks paycheck so they didn't have to pay me overtime. After all that, then they can pull this bullcrap on me?? Then, he has the nerve to say that when Teddy takes over for him, than there will be a full time position open that I can take, then when teddy leaves I could get considered for assistant manager...I don't want to be at this job for the next 6 years...Hell, I don't even want to be in Rochester in 6 years. I feel like Curtis knows that I have more artistic goals than the Box Office and wants me to go after those - and it feels like he's making my decisions for me - and I dont like it.
Boo, this is just starting to suck...a lot.

This break has been an interesting one thus far.
For starters, I turned down the stage management internship at Bristol Valley because I started having some health problems - a faux-mono type thing where I got really really tired, and it was stress-induced so I had to take it easy for a couple months. So, I'm back in the ROC for the summer. I'm still working at Geva, and i picked up a second job as a waiter at KC Tea and Noodle and I'm training to be a bartender.
Even though I'm working two jobs - money is still very very tight. This bartender class cost me about 350 dollars, and even though the restaurant is reinbursing me for 100 of it, thats still 250 dollars, then I had to replace 2 of the tires on my moms old car (which is now my car, since my probe needs a new motor) plus all of my bills that i have to pay like my credit card, cell phone and car insurance. It's just getting very stressful.
plus, I'm starting to miss robb a lot - well, not starting. I've been missing him all break, but now I don't have anything to occupy my time so it's hitting me a lot more. it stinks. like, we've been seen each other a few times, but it's usually only for a day at a time and I love the time I get to spend with him, but it also means we have to say goodbye more often, and it doesn't get easier like I hoped it would.
I really just can't wait until school starts again - when I'll only have 1 job, regular classes, things to do, and my boyfriend.
only 2 more months grrr

So, since the last time I updated I have some big things happening - I'm got accepted into a summer internship at Bristol Valley Theater in Naples, NY. I'm going to be Stage Managing all summer. $100 a week, housing provided. It's not the most glamorous thing, but hopefully it will open the door to bigger internships that are more aimed at what I want to do. Plus, stage management is a good thing to have as a back up. According to AEA (Actors Equity Association - its the actor and stage manager union) Stage Managers make almost twice as much as actors, so it can get me some money.
Also, I applied for an internship at Geva in the winter semester in Directing. I'm really hoping that I get it, because my master plan for life involves getting a full-year directing internship at a big time theatre. So an internship at Geva will really really help with that :)
I got placed in Mortimer for next year, we had our meeting on sunday and it looks like it's going to be fun. Even if I didn't get the Becca I initially thought. So, I'm looking forward to that.
My schedule for next semester is sa-weet if i do say so myself:

Monday
01:15-02:15 Theatre Research
03:45-05:15 Acting III

Tuesday
08:00-09:30 Play Analysis
01:15-02:45 Literature and Culture
03:00-04:30 College Math

Wednesday
01:15-02:15 Theatre Research
03:45-05:15 Acting III
06:00-09:15 Early America (TV Course)

Thursday
08:00-09:30 Play Analysis
01:15-02:45 Literature and Culture
03:00-04:30 College Math

Friday
NO CLASSES ON FRIDAY. Always a 3-day weekend!

Right...Talk about magnificent!

what the hell ever happened to "to protect and serve"?
they changed it to "to be assholes to inflate our egos"

I have a virus, i need to restore my computer.
off to find my restore disk!

So, even though it's a little late, I'll make the classic last-year post. I was sick until last night, so I haven't had time to do this.
lets see:
January:
-moved all of my stuff out of Elmira College, and held it in my room until I moved into Brockport later that month
February:
-got cast in my first Mainstage show at Brockport Festival of Ten - Untitled #2
-my 20th Birthday hang-out with Emily, Billy, Maria, Mara and Kevin
-almost broke my knee on final dress rehearsal of the show, but sprained it really bad
-performed in the mainstage show - only as a gimp: see above
-started applying to be an RA
March:
-Daryl and I had a big fight
-saw Robb for the first time since he became single
-finished Untitled
-went to Brockports Drag Show
-emotionally scarred Robb by showing him American History X :P
-told Robb I still had feelings for him - they were returned :)
(p.s. - all the above happened in one day. weird)
-found out that Untitled #2 was chosen by the faculty to go to Hungary to perform
-"Free Will and Wanton Lust" got approved by Harlequins and the department as the next semester show with me as the director
-got cast in 2 shows at the Bread and Water Theatre Company - too bad they sucked at life
-got the RA Decision letter and found out that I was for real going to be an RA
April:
-had many job interviews, but none turned into a job - got really down because of it
-decided it was time to give up Mountain Dew - and severely cut back on soda
-first RA training day - I broke a board!
-saw Gem of the Ocean at Geva and put in an application on a whim while I was there
-Robb asked me to go to his prom with him :):)
May:
-went to Europe for the first time - Hungary, to perform Untitled #2 in Debrecen and Palistiba :):):)
-went to Elmira to visit - happened to be their May Days Dance...meaning lots of drunkards
-after the dance, Robb and I broke away from the crowd, and after a short conversation about it, we were dating again. (May 11th) :):):):)
-met Robb's parents on Mothers day - with no advance notice, BTW!
-I got the job at Geva :)
-Robb's Prom - it went amazing
June:
-massive job search
-met my theatre-hero - Jim Poulus while working at Geva
-got the job at Sprint - More Wireless
-went to robb's Grad party
June/July/Most of August:
-continued to work a 7 day work week at 2 jobs, and seeing Robb every other week and loving it. See friends after work too
-Harry Potter 7 - and a the day that preceded it
-Goo Goo Dolls Concert
-KOA camping
-RA TRAINING STARTED
September
-began casting/working on "Free Will and Wanton Lust"
-lost my mind because of Free Will and Wanton Lust
October
-mind fell apart because of Free Will and Wanton Lust
-Daryl and I officially stopped talking
-Halloween Party at Mike and Brandons
-Free Will's opening night
November
-got my life back on track
-programmed my butt off for RA
-Thanksgiving was a damn disappointment
December
-finished up classes
-said goodbye to Robb before break which made me sad
-went home and had insomnia again
-saw a lot of my ROC friends
-went to Christopher's first birthday party - boy is so cute, he's gonna be such a ladykiller when he grows up
-saw Robb 16 days later and we played Guitar Hero with Emily and Natalie, and exchanged x-mas gifts
-saw the new years improv show with Robb, Emily and Sarah and Tracy from work
-NEW YEARS PARTY
-Got a stomach flu from Natalie's family at Christopher birthday party

so, i came home for winter break today. Woke up at 8:00am so that Robb and I could go to breakfast (burger king) and say goodbye, since we wont be able to see each other until my New Years party. That makes me sad, but we've made it through a lot worse. Breakfast was pretty good, considering it was burger king. I got a croissant sandwich (minus the meat), cheesey tots and a coke icee. Robb got the same, but with orange juice. Afterwards, we said goodbye so he could finish packing...and I could start haha. I also had like 3 more hours than he did.
The staff met up at 9:30 to check the last 7 rooms that we couldn't do last night. finished in about 10 minutes, then i finished packing. i pretty much brought my clothes, my extra TV, computer, toiletries and some things i gotta work on for next semester, so it was pretty light...still took like 4 trips to the car though.
Then, instead of going home, where i wanted to go (to sleep) I went into work. My Saturday shifts are increasingly more irritating. The new girl there, who beat me out for a supervisor job is utterly incompetent. not just "has her own style" no, she just doesn't know what she's doing. I'm constantly having to cover her ass, and frankly i don't know why i do it. Wait, I do, because I HATE it when people sacrifice the company look, just to prove that someone doesn't know what they're doing. All of the times that I have been here, she hasn't printed our tickets, until I get fed up because patrons are showing up and then i just print them myself. that's her job, not mine.  Or, she'll come out of her booth area and start talking to us and telling us her story of the week and whatnot, while there's still calls in the que, waiting to be answered.  That's just plain stupid. It was just a really draining day. She found out she's pregnant. so, maybe when she goes on maternity leave, I'll be able to gank that supervisorship from her...who knows.
    Then, after work, I went home and dropped off my stuff, then was summoned over to my Aunt Janice's house for dinner, since my cousin is in town from NYC. I found it odd that they came up this far away from christmas, but it made sense since they had a "special announcement" They decided that they wanted to have a baby, and they're expecting around August 1st. I'm really happy for them, They're the kind of people that should procreate. They're both really smart, and motivated and have good intuitions. So, that was really cute. Then, I played with my little cousins Rachel, Jessica and Abigail...they kinda reiterated why i don't want to have kids of my own. They;re fun, but I couldn't be around them 24/7.
    I busted out of that party pretty quick, since i was hella hella tired, and still had to unpack my shit from school, So, I got home and unpacked, then sat down with my computer, played for like 5 minutes and passed the hell out, and woke up at 1am. big mistake. I have to work at 10:30 tomorrow morning, and its 3:30 right now and im not ever tired in the least.
    I've also realized that I really feel out of place in my house. I think its because in school, I'm pretty much in control of my life. I run my floor, I can do almost whatever the hell i want, when I want to do it. But here, its not even that I can't do what I want - it's the fact that my status completely switches.in Thompson, I'm part of the second string of command in the building. Here, I'm the bottom of the barrel. That's never going to change. My family will ALWAYS see me as a child, because I'm the last one born in my batch of babies. Melissa, Allison, George, Grant, Jenny. All older than me. and I'm kinda more on the right track than a few of them. George is 24 and has 3.5 kids and a minimum wage job, grant is still in college and Allison works in the sub shop at wegmans. Not trying to say I'm better or anything, but at the very least, I'm on par with where they were at my age. Melissa is like the poster child of what my family wants in a child. She was the good child, didn't get into much trouble, went to college, went abroad, did everything in college, moved out of her moms house a couple months after graduating, and has a "real job". So far that sounds a lot like me. I just don't like being here anymore. I really would rather be at school. at least there I have at least some respect, and people i can talk to. Here, I'm so clearly the outcast. Even the people I used to be really close with, our conversations are pretty awkward at best. I don't feel like anyone really cares what I have to say. Except my Aunt Paula, but we only talk about theatre, so that's probably why, since she's an actress. only 5 more weeks. I'm also hoping to get a job at FedEx with Brandon and Mike. That'll kill some time.
    It probably also doesn't help that I miss Robb so much. Its at the point where I don't sleep as well when he's not around. I've gotten so used to laying next to him, having his heartbeat lul me to sleep, that I don't usually sleep well if he's not here. Maybe I'll go buy some sleeping pills or something to get me through the break.
5 weeks and counting

-Matticakes

procrastination time, therefore livejournal time
I'm a little bummed out right now, I got my hopes up because I got an email from the theatre chair saying that Untitled #2 got picked to go to the ACTF festival to perform it (ACTF is the American College Theatre Foundation) so I was psyched about. But I guess he couldn't get a hold of Clayton or Mike, so i just got one saying that were not going anymore :(
I'm going to take an Intersession course at MCC - American History since 1865. because I dont want to take a lame class like that over the full semester.
I got a job at the bookstore on campus, its sweet. It's a kinda seasonal position - but not like christmas seasonal, from the end of the semester till about february, with a small possibility of being kept on longer, but I don't really care if I'm kept on longer. In fact I'd probably turn down an offer to stay longer, cause that's when things with Hair would be getting hectic if i got into that. Well, We shall see. The manager was really nice, so i hope she turns out better than Karen at Sprint.
I got all the classes I wanted for spring, I'm taking History of Theatre I, Childrens Theatre, Stagecraft, Intro to Womens Studies and Literature and Culture, and I'm going to add Acting Lab too. yay 18 credits.
Robb was hella sick a few nights ago. puking. it was lovely, and I mean that with the utmost sarcasm. But, he's better now, I'm glad since hes a lot happier when hes not puking :P
i think thats it. peace out

Matticakes

            Recently, I have been watching a lot of YouTube/ MySpace videos of Chris Crocker - the boy who cried for Britney Spears. When I first started watching them, I was appalled at some of the things he had to say - saying that we should teach our children to swear, that personality means nothing - only looks matter, or he hates gay men who say "flamer" and date straight-acting men.

            For the most part, I try to live my life by the Voltaire quote

"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

     I have always said that I'll never tell you that an idea is wrong - I may disagree with it, but if it's your belief, it's your belief, and there's not much I can do to change that. So, I suppose that my problems with the Chris Crocker videos came from the comments, not the videos themselves. People are commenting on his videos, telling him how retarded he sounds, even going as far as to tell him to go kill himself. This may be just me, but that's where I draw the line. I'm fine with whatever you have to say, as long as it isn't attacking someone. I know I may sound like a hypocrite, since I know I've said my fair share about a certain president. But, I've also never said anything about his beliefs, only his policies - which force too many of his religious beliefs onto the entire country. Then, on the other side, I often wonder how I would react if I met a hardcore homophobic person - who honestly felt that gay people are wrong, sinners and should not be alive; Fred Phelps for example. I like to believe that I would be able to stay calm and get my ideas across in a civilized manner, but I honestly doubt that I would be able to once he started telling me that my friends and I should be burning in hell because of our faggotry and "fag-enabling." I don't know if I could do it, but who would be able to if someone was taking such an attack against who we are? I think that that is where a lot of today’s problems are coming from; people don't even want to try and see something other than what they are. There's a lack of trying to understand where people are coming from, only about themselves. Especially in western culture, we focus on the individual - the individual comes before the population. If you loose your individuality, you have almost died. In the eastern cultures it is completely the opposite - the population comes first; the good of the culture before the good of the individual. I think both sides need to learn something from the other hemisphere. I certainly agree with individuality and free thought, that's how we get new ideas, but we also need to recognize that we are part of a society with many diverse kinds of people and we can't force our beliefs on others, or tell someone that they're wrong, for that will be what brings down our society, not terrorism or global warming – it will be our own intolerance. I know it.

so. my life has been more hectic than I'd necessarily like it to be, but the end is coming up - so that's what I'm setting my sights on.
School is going well. lots of hours in class and not a lot of credits for them, but such is life.
the show is going well too. I'm really really busy this week, since i'm doing run crew for Some Girl(s) as well as painting the set for it, but once this week is over, and then next weekend, my life will go back to just being really busy.
I just found out that Harlequins - the group that I'm directing Free Will and Wanton Lust with, wants to register it for TANYS (Theatre Association of New York State) and get it adjudicated. That is really exciting, and really scary too. Before, if the show wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be, it was fine - it was a learning experience. But now, if it's not what I want it to be, my name's on it, and its getting judged and put up against other schools as well. So, I'm gonna have to make sure it's what I want it to be. That's all.
Just a reminder: Free Will and Wanton Lust opens Wednesday October 31st - November 3rd. Come see it!
Then, after all this crazyness, I have 2 weeks of just classes/RA-ness (with 3 nights of desk duty shifts in there) and then I have a small weekend vacation planned! Robb and I are going to Toronto for that weekend. We're driving up there and staying in a youth hostel. i don't know about him, but I'm planning on just doing very little work/movement. Just sleeping, and enjoying not having to do anything. it's gonna be great. Then we come come back and have 2 days of class and then have another break! Life is sweet :)

Why does it seem like this country is becoming more and more corrupt each day?
it has gotten to a point where the nation is no longer being controlled by the elected officials, the supreme court, or congress. None of these 3 branches of our government are the deciding factor. There's a fourth branch, or vine that intertwines all of these. Money. Money is what is controlling us. Money is what makes our decisions, and money is also what keeps us the way we are.
Our country acts like money is the answer for everything. Every legal punishment, is usually accompanied by what? a fine. Now, how is it fair that someone who drives drunk, the first time gets charged $1,000, then the second time, gets their license revoked. that $1,000 fine isn't going to do shit. The punishment should fit the crime. When your new puppy pees in the house, you don't react by taking away it's food. You rub it's nose in it so it knows what it did was wrong. So, why are humans the exception to this rule? If someone drives drunk, they should be forced to see what their despicable act can do, make them look at people who have been massacred by people like them. Not to mention the fact that the entire driving situation is one big scheme to perpetuate the financial crisis we are all in. You have to take a test to get your license, no problem. but then if you do anything after that, the government charges you for. Registering a car, you pay a phenomenal tax on what you've already paid for. You pay for insurance on the car, relatively understandable. But, all this money isn't going to the government. It's going to the DMV (or as I call it, satan on wheels) the DMV is a privately owned establishment, entirely separate from the government. But again, it brings in a lot of money for the government, so they have concealed this so well, that few people know the difference. The DMV has so much power, that they can revoke your privilege to drive because of something as small as an unpaid parking ticket, now, how is this fair, how is it fitting the crime? it's not. Then, in order to get your privilege back, you have to pay the fee, plus a 35 dollar charge. 35 dollars, so that some secretary can push a button on a computer that says that you can drive again. Completely pointless. I hate how this country thinks that it is a privilege to drive, yet a right to own a gun. I know the Constitution says we can, but I can't imagine what good that is doing in this society at all. If no one has a gun, no one can get shot.
boo, I don't like what this country is coming to. I know this post isn't finished, but I'm tired. maybe I'll make it more cohesive when i wake up

I'm at work
we haven't had a call/customer in about 25 minutes
I just beat beginner Minesweeper in 79 seconds
go productivity!
I also have a date with Robb tomorrow and I can't wait to see him
I got my mom tickets to see Sherlock Holmes on her birthday - I'm a good son
I'm hanging out with Jessy after work. Probably subway, which I always enjoy :)

That is all

Matticakes

holy crap, this year is starting with a bang.
I moved into Brockport on Thursday morning, with a lot of help from Kevin, who had moved in the night before.
and since then it's been just about non-stop stuff. It's either actual training seminars, or in-hall training about our specific hall policies or simply getting the hall ready for the students to come later in the week. I wish i had taken more than only 2 days off from work to recuperate, but whatever.
My room looks really hott. I love having my own room, not even gonna lie. I put my beds together and i have the most comfortable sheets ever, and my mom got me a mattress pad, and it's soooo comfortable. I finally got my room fully set up today, meaning everything works and is in its rightful place :) that makes me quite happy.
I also finished my door decs for my floor and my bulletin board, it's about diversity and given the fact that I made it, it turned out really well, since I dont have a graphic art bone in my body.
but, thats about all im going to write about, since I want to sleep.
But, I will say that I already love my staff. We're already getting along great, and our RD too, I really like that he's just as much of a kid as any of us, he doesn't try to act superior to us. It makes it a lot easier to respect him that way. I was really nervous about being an RA at the beginning of training, but after meeting my staff and my boss, I'm confident I can do it, and I'm getting really excited to have some residents in here!

I just got home from work, which was pretty fun. I work with some crazy-ass people which makes for good times :p
I had another weekend this weekend. Since I don't get weekends by default anymore, and have to request any time off. It's a big thing when i get them :)
Not only was it a big deal because i had a weekend, it was a big thing because I got to spend it with Robb. We went camping up at the KOA in Farmington/Canadaigua. It was probably the best times of my life. We got there on Friday around 2pm. We had both had to be up early for various reasons, I had my conference call for work, he had some errands to run before heading out, so we were kinda pooped. So, we set up the tent and went inside of it and took a nap, which was a good thing cause I don't think I would have made it the whole day without it. Then we just hung out for a while until we decided to go to the drive-in in Avon to go see Rush Hour 3 and Hairspray (can you guess which one I wanted to see??) We ended up getting just a little lost....and by that I mean we were an hour late. So we caught the last half hour of Rush Hour 3, then got some food, cause I realized I had forgot to eat all day, go me. Hairspray was really good, I was impressed with some of the things the director did with it, and with the exception of Zack Efron, the acting was really good.
On Saturday, we really just hung around all day, and ate some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. we kept taking naps. I think we were both suffering from slight exhaustion, working 2 jobs can do that, so the trip was filled with lots of sleep. Later in the afternoon, I took him to Tom Wahl's, because there was an Abbotts there, so we ate and had desert then went back to the site and explored around the campgrounds, there was a obstacle course that we entirely p'owned, backwards lol.
Then we just laid down and talked/listened to some music and spent some awake time together...followed by sleeping :P
There were a couple moments during the trip where I can't even explain how happy I was, times that probably wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, and I can't really put my finger on what did it, but I know it had something to do with Robb. Most of the time, I can't even believe I found someone like him, someone who, just last year year, I had convinced myself no longer existed - this amazing guy who I can find nothing I could even begin to say that I don't like about him, who knows what he wants from his life, and yet still manages to have an easily amused and fun-loving side that brings out the best in him. Then to top it all off, He actually cares about me in return. From time-to-time, I have to metaphorically pinch myself to make sure this is really true and not just a fantasy man I've made for myself. He's just that perfect.
This has been the best 3 months. I wouldn't change anything, except more time to see him, of course :)

On a completely different note, I only have to work 1 more day before school!
night kiddies

Matticakes

Well kiddies, its time for an update. It'll be a relatively short one since I have to shower and get ready for work in a little bit.
So, first things first. This weekend, Robb and I went to the Goo Goo Dolls concert at Darien Lake, they performed with Lifehouse. It was a really good concert. Robb and I got to the park early and got to spend the day together, even though Robb woke up a little late and then got lost on the way. But I just sat in a local diner and played on my palm pilot, so it wasn't to bad. Once he got there, we rode some rides and stuff and then we headed out so we could go to the campsite and check in and all that jazz.
We get to the campsite, and the woman was a pretty big skank-bitch from the beginning and was ultimately badgering us to find out why we were here. First she said there was no way we could because Robb isn't 21, but then I said im almost 21 and she let it go. Then told us we had to pay 5 dollars extra of what Robb paid online plus a 40 dollar deposit. I almost told her off, but it was only 5 dollars and we were running a little late, so i bit my tongue. When we finally get out the the campsite, some park ranger probably named Cletus the slack-jawed yokel walked up to Robb and told him that he was speeding through the park so we weren't going to get our deposit back. So we were like fuck this and decided not to stay there. We went back to the office and said we weren't going to stay. the owner then comes in and starts SCREAMING at us about how we were terrorizing his park. Robb tried to get him to stop yelling, and he wouldn't. So we ultimately got our $45 back, but Robb's still waiting to see if they can do anything about 25 he paid online.
So, after the concert, we just ended up driving out to Greece to sleep. And I have to say, even though all that shit happened, I'm so happy I got to see Robb. And as another plus, my mom wasn't home that night, so we could sleep at my house, and not have to bug Natalie and ask to use her couch. But the night was pretty much stupendous, after we got to the concert. and I wouldn't have changed anything about the day. It's still a little odd to me that one person can make me so happy, that every time I see him for the first time in a while, or when we catch each others eyes, I just cant help smiling. Or the fact that every time we touch, even just holding hands, I get butterflies in my stomach like it was the first time. He just makes me happier than I can remember being, especially because of a boy. Consider it a sign? I do
Oh. so I thought I was getting fired at work the other day, but I wasn't. It kinda sucked because I had such a "fuck it" attitude at work yesterday because of it until I found out I wasn't getting fired. Karen found out my school schedule and wasn't happy with it at all, and the way she was speaking very much implied that she was going to fire me because of it. but she wasn't.
Ok. Shower time.
Bye Kids

Matticakes

So, I'm taking a break from my obsessive Harry Potter reading to make an update. No spoilers, I wont mention anything in the book. I read 6 chapters in about 3 hours, which I'm psyched about.
I've pretty much been working my ass off lately. I just worked a 16-day in a row stretch between Sprint and Geva, but it was worth it, because I got 2 days off Friday and Saturday, so I went to Corning and got to see Robb. Honestly, there are no words to describe how amazing it was. He planned out all of these things for us do, and I was in awe at all of them. First, we went up to Watkins Glen and walked the gorge together, which even though we got "lost" like 3 times, I had such a good time spending time with him. Then he packed a picnic and we to a park at Watkins Glen and grilled up some fake chicken patties and corn, and ate and hung out for a little bit, and then went to an ice cream place called The Great Escape and got desert. It was really good, I got this vegan chocolate thing, which i was really curious about so i tried it and it was quite delicious. After that, we headed out to his friend, Jessica's graduation party, where he told Emily to entertain me for a little bit while he "got things set up," that was all he told me (he was keeping all these things a surprise from me until they happened). But Emily and I had a good time, I taught her how to play spit, and then beat her with one hand (that was my handicap). then Robb came back and we hung out with jess a little more and then as the party dissipated, we went to the last thing of the night. We drove into downtown corning, and then he just starts driving off the road, and at first I was like umm, i hope he knows thats not road, but he did, because it was pathed out. He had set up a tent and blankets outside so we could camp out. At first I didn't even notice the tent (it was dark) and thought we were just going to watch the stars. He gave me a rose too. it was a small gesture, but it was probably one of the high points of my life. Not even sarcastic. Then a little into the night, we got thirsty and decided to go to Wegmans and buy some water, and we also bought our copies of Harry Potter :) and in all honesty, even if I didn't have a chance to buy harry potter, I wouldn't have cared. Which sounds obvious, but I've turned down plans before to go to one specific release party before, so that is kind of a big thing for me to change harry potter plans for a guy. But, Robb is completely worth it.
Then, as if him planning out the most romantic day of my life wasn't enough, he planned something for Saturday afternoon too!. We played putt-putt. He told me he wanted to re-enact one of my childhood traumas, meaning the time at the 6th grade fun-night when I accidentally pelted that woman in the face with a golf ball lol. So we did that, and he won by 2 strokes. I'm a musical-theatre major, i don't need to be good at things haha:P After putt-putting it up, we went to his house and hung out, I brought in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind from my car, and we watched that on my laptop in his room, since the power in Corning went out. That's probably my favorite movie, it was one of those that actually impacted my life. But, now Robb has seen it too, and he said he liked it too, which made me happy...since I apparently like taking credit for other peoples work :P
Then he had to get ready for work, so we ate some more fake chicken, and I headed out.
Now comes the not-so-good part of the day- my car is falling apart. I need a new muffler, badly. which means i need to get a hold of my father soon. My muffler pipe broke off and was dragging for a few feet, then i pulled over and by some act of luck, found an old bungee chord on the side of the road and bungee'd it up so it wasn't dragging anymore. My car is really loud now. but the muffler aint dragging anymore. Even despite my car problem. I can't stop smiling. Sounds like my muffler isn't the only thing that's falling this weekend :)
I finally got home and started reading. true story.
Bye
-Matticakes

Why am I forced to deal with someone who is incapable of understanding what another human being is going though, or that things are unable to stay the same forever every time I speak to my mother?
and why is my mom one of the things that seems to be constantly working against me in my pursuit of....anything?

Weeeeellllll kiddies,
it's that time again, because I'm bored :p so, I'm updating.
As many of you guys guessed from my last entry. I have a new job now (a second one, not a replacement) I'm working at the sprint kiosk in the mall. Finished training at monroe with Mr. Personality (his sarcastic nickname around the company) and now I'm training with the guys from Eastview Mall. They're pretty awesome, I enjoy working with them.
With this second job, I have very little free time. I'm working about 66 hours a week. 54 at Sprint and my usual 12 at Geva. But, it gives me enough money to live the luxurious life I've become accustom to, which i enjoy lol
Wednesday was my first/only day off, which I think is only because it was the 4th of july, but im not sure. But either way, I had an amazing holiday. First, Jessy and I got together for a lil bit, got subway and went to wegmans so I could get a card for my aunt mary and lindsay (as it was their birthdays that day) Then Robb came up to visit! Which made me very happy. He's such a nice boy. He and I went over to my aunt marys house with my sister to give my aunt her card and say happy birthday. It was fun, then turned kinda awkward when my family started like spilling out all of these problems we have. i was like ooooookay, lets NOT air out our dirty laundry in front of my boyfriend. but he didn't seem to mind. Then we went to 7-11 and got slurpees and strolled around the beach for a little while, talked and just hung out. Then we went to Natalies, and Robb got to meet Christopher finally. That child is so cute. It's so cool to see him grow up. I saw him when he was only a couple hours old, and now hes almost walking. it's so interesting. After Topher went to bed, Robb and I went to go get food/gather some sleeping stuff since we sleep on natalies couch when he comes up because we obviously can't sleep at my house, cause of the whole mom thing... But anyways, Natalie, Keith, Robb and I watched Hitch. Nat and Keith went to bed before the end, Robb and I at least waited until the end, then went to bed cause I had to wake up early and go to work at noon. we went home, hung out for a small bit and I showered and got ready, then robb headed out and i went to work. which brings me to now. when im bored. ill talk more later. bye kiddies

matticakes

EMPLOYMENT!!!

I went to Robbs graduation party yesterday, it was fun. I met his extended family. His grandmother is really nice. I was half expecting a mean old southern woman, but she hella nice. We had quite a few conversations throughout the day.
After his party, Robb and Emily, her cousin and I went to another party for the night. I met some of Robbs other friends and hung out. I nearly passed out a couple times cause i was really really tired. then Robb and I turned in early cause we had to leave early so I could go to work the next morning.
Then I felt so bad the next morning, as we were backing out of Lade's driveway, his car got stuck, and his dad eventually came to help, and ended up hitting someones car. Robb looked like he was going to cry, but he seemed to be a little better when i had to leave. I hope everything works out with that
work was kinda slow today, but still kinda ammusing.
im tired, im going to sleep
night everyone
matticakes

Im sittin here in the car, parked outside Robb's house, I feel a little like a stalker, but he knows I'm here, and no ones home yet :P
My friend from work, Courtney told me yesterday that she could cover my shift at work today, so I could come up and spend the day here, and not just a couple hours which is what I would have done since I wouldn't have gotten here until about 6-6:30ish. so, I'm really thankful to her for that :)
Work was really fun yesterday. I know ive said this many times before, but I just adore the people I work with, they make the time go by so fast. I heard Courtney get pissy with someone on the phone because they wanted to know if they could use their Today Pass for a show that wasn't today, which we obviously cannot do, it says it right in the name, but still we get asked it all the time, and she got irritated and told someone off. i was amused.
I turned in job applications to Aeropostale, Sea Breeze, Tanning Bed and Show World yesterday, but it doesn't look like I'll need them, since I got called back about my interview at Sprint. I interviewed with the district manager initially, and I think she picks people she wants, and sends them to the store managers and unless they have big conflicts, then I think I'm hired. The store manager called me yesterday (ironically while I was on the phone with UPS when they were telling me that they didn't want to hire me, jerks) and said to call him back so we can schedule a "quick 5 or 10 minute interview so he can tell me about the job and get the ball rolling" so, I really hope that means what I inferred that it does :)
I realized today that I am horrible at writing in cards, my handwriting is obviously horrid, and the message usually gets worded really awkwardly and sounds dumb.
I also bought Robb a coffee maker for his graduation, and I'm having second thoughts about whether or not that was a good idea or not...

Work was okay today. it was pretty laid back. for the second half, we had NO ONE come in, since the 7:30 show got cancelled, so we just had to tell people that the show was cancelled and give them vouchers for free drinks at the cafe.
I have an interview at the Sprint kiosk at Marketplace mall tomorrow. I hope I get it, I'll just have to hide my bitter hatred for sprint at my interview, I want to sell cell phones.
I also kind of got recommended for a job by one of my supervisors at Geva, the job isn't open yet, but they'll be looking for people later in the month, and she put in a good word for me already. i was like thats cool, because I read the letter that she sent to the guy and she was like "hes really good on the phone and has good customer service too" so i might get a position there, paying 12 bucks an hour...thats hott :)
I'm warm. I don't like that.
I get to see Robb this weekend. I like that
My sister and I went to my nana and papas estate sale before work today. that was awkward. my dad was there, and obviously trying to hide the fact that he's a prick and hates his 2 kids. most likely to fool his new girlfriend into thinking he has a soul. he tried calling me out on "being sketchy" to him when he came to geva and I asked him if he had bought tickets there before, which is protocol and it was my second day. hes a tool. My aunt Mary was cool though. she kept on trying to get us to take stuff. my sister now has like 5 boxes of dolls, 3 farberware pots and a corningware dish...you know, for all the cooking she does :P I got a set of tea cups from japan, with a sunset on them, and some other random stuff.
I had a pita from the Pita Pit at work today. it was quite delicious too, we got lunch delivered. I felt like an adult when we were pooling our lunch orders :P
ok, it;s getting late and I want to go eat some flavored ice and head to bed for my interview tomorrow. Bye everyone. wish me luck!

Matticakes

I dont even know where to start. I could not be happier right now. or, a couple hours ago. Robb can up yesterday and stayed until almost 5 today. We hung out at my house and just chilled out until we met up with natalie and she finally got to meet him. But we only got to see her for a little bit, because I had got robb and i tickets to see Urinetown at Geva. So we went there and saw the show. It was certainly entertaining..a little depressing at times, but I enjoyed it. the girl who played suzie was frickin hysterical. I was amused during the romantic scene of the show, because the 2 actors on stage, I've talked to both of them. i was like whoa, im cool :P
After, we met up with Maria Papaleo at javas. and we got some drinks and walked around and talked for a couple hours. Maria has already given me her seal of approval of Robb. she called me and said that "he's absolutely adorable and perfect in every way" and I agree in every way possible. I'm so happy that I met robb, and my friends absolutely adore him. not that I needed any reassurance, but we all know that when you like someone its hard to see things that aren't so good about them, and knowing that my friends all approve, it just helps the situation a lot.
I've noticed something about myself when I'm with robb whenever I see him, i cant help but smile, even just a passing glance. I was driving my sister to the eye doctor today and robb was in the backseat of my sisters car, and i saw him in the rear view mirror and couldn't help but smile.
As things are right now, I'm going to go up there next weekend for his graduation party, which should be exciting, and I'm obviously looking forward to seeing him again.
ok, its late. i need sleep i'll update about other facets of my life tomorrow

matticakes

Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

best month ever